Happy Birthday to Me!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Annette Smith Bisbee
As I was looking forward to my 79th birthday, I began to reflect on my past.
Just over 50 years ago, in 1973, I was diagnosed with the dreadful disease of Multiple Sclerosis. I had never even heard of it! With my heart pounding, unsure of what it meant, I asked the doctor how long could I expect to live? My neurologist responded with, “At the most…about 15 years.”
My right side was almost paralyzed, to the extent of having to drag my leg instead of picking it up. The doctor continued, “You are lucky that the spinal fluid came back positive, because some people never really know whether or not they even have it.” And he walked out of the room. No bedside manners, that one! So I quickly added 15 years to my 29 years and came up with the horrid realization I would be dead at the young age of 44 or even sooner!
He said I was lucky? Well, I certainly didn’t feel lucky! I turned to my hospital roommate and asked her, “What is Multiple Sclerosis, do you know?” I’m sure she meant no harm, but she went into great detail of how I would soon be in a wheel chair, totally paralyzed, and needing fulltime care. My imagination went a little crazy. “Oh God help me!” I quietly moaned.
For two weeks I stayed in the hospital being treated with ACTH. And when I got back home, I was exhausted and almost bedridden. I had gained 15 pounds and my face was swollen. I could barely walk from one chair to the next, without needing to sit for a while. At times all the energy would drain from me and I would fall.
In 1974, almost one year later, I was hospitalized again with the same symptoms. Upon my release, I was cautioned to get plenty of rest. I tried to be aware of when I was starting to weaken, and I made the effort, to go to bed earlier, or to put off projects until my strength came back. Once someone came up behind me and accidentally hit me with a cart, and my legs gave out. They helped me find a seat, until I could walk again. My symptoms seemed to subside, and I even went to work.
In 2005, I was diagnosed with colon cancer. The surgeon shared that if the tumor had been one inch lower, I would have needed a colostomy. Although the tumor had my colon 95% blocked, the doctor removed 16” of my colon and put it back together. He said he checked my vital organs, and the cancer hadn’t spread. I was so excited to hear I didn’t need chemo. Praise God!
In 2014, I started having symptoms with what I assumed was an exacerbation of MS. I slept almost constantly and when I got up I literally leaned against the walls, sliding down them to get to the bathroom. My husband insisted I go to the doctor, and since I was already concerned that the MS was getting worse I made an appointment with my primary doctor. My neurologist had died several years earlier.
“When was your last MRI?” the doctor asked.
“I’ve never had one. They weren’t doing those for MS in 1973.” So he scheduled an MRI to ascertain the progression. That’s when he found a Meningioma brain tumor, but he wasn’t sure about any MS.
Brain tumor! I was terrified from all the racing thoughts and questions. What if I need surgery? What if I die? Or worse, what if I have brain damage after the surgery? Through prayers and deep breaths, we called Mayo Clinic and scheduled appointments with a neurologist and a brain surgeon. Together we determined the tumor wasn’t large enough to be of concern right now. He recommended a friend of his at Washington University who was a brain surgeon, so we could keep an eye on the size. According to Mayo Clinic and the head of neurosurgery at Washington University, there were no signs of MS.
About a year later, an MRI showed the tumor had enlarged from 3.1 cm to 4.0cm. This really scared me. I hadn’t been taking good care of myself and I was eating whatever I wanted, and I had gained weight. I did some research on tumors and came up with the belief that sugar and carbs feed cancer. I didn’t have cancer, but I thought perhaps it would also work for benign tumors. By my next appointment, the size had decreased. The doctor had his nurse call me and ask me what I had done to cause the tumor to shrink. I shared my diet, a drop of Frankincense now and again, and the many prayers that were offered.
In August 2021, I became very ill. I lost my appetite, I was very weak and I slept constantly. Was the brain tumor growing? What was wrong with me? I insisted I would be all right, and I certainly didn’t want to go to the hospital, but after several days my husband called 911. He later told me he looked into my eyes and thought, “She’s leaving me.”
I was diagnosed with Covid and the doctor said he was sure it was the Delta. After five days of struggling to keep my oxygen levels up, I was transferred to ICU. I faced the reality I just might not make it. Two nights, I felt I was crossing over and I felt Jesus was standing beside me. I sensed His presence but I didn’t see Him. There seemed to be a fog between us hiding what may have been a fence or a gate. I asked Him if it was ok, I would like to live for my grandchildren. I was happy to awaken the next morning.
The doctor said they would need to intubate me if my oxygen levels didn’t stay up, and I asked, “Is there anything I can do that would help? He asked if I could sleep on my stomach, and I happily agreed.
After five days in ICU, my oxygen levels stabilized, and I was released from the hospital. The weakness was unbelievable and I was surprised with my lack of energy. It took months. After being home about a month, I began to lose my hair. I could literally pin up my shoulder length hair with one bobby pin.
In February 2023, I attempted to hand the TV remote to my husband, and my hand stopped in mid-air. He thought I was teasing and he kept saying, “What are you doing? Give me the remote!” (They love that remote, don’t they?). Ok, not funny. Within a few seconds, I dropped the remote and as I attempted to explain I really was trying, it all came out babbling with no formed words whatsoever.
I was ushered off to the hospital where they kept me 4 days, running every test imaginable, including an MRI, which showed the tumor, was the same size as when it first began. The doctors together concluded I had no doubt had a TIA, but said since TIA’s leave no evidence it was impossible for them to know for sure.
So, here I am on my 79th birthday. I’ve lived 35 years past that doomed proclamation of living to age 44. I’m reminded of a lady who once said, “I looked at the bottom of my feet and saw no expiration date!” Praise God!
I still have questions but they don’t keep me up nights. For instance, when I was first diagnosed with MS with the right side numbness and slurred speech, was that actually a stroke? Was it the beginning of the tumor? Did I really have MS and God totally healed me? I don’t know, and I don’t have to know. We walk by faith.
I sure am glad though that I’m still here, living for Jesus and being His witness. I try to maintain a low carb diet, (except I admit I DO cheat once in awhile – especially on vacations). Along with a good diet, I take excellent vitamins. I feel better and I have more energy than I did 50 years ago. I am blessed. I’ve always loved birthday cards, and this year it’s almost like God is reaching out to say:
“Happy 79th Birthday, Annette!
Love, Jesus!
“We give all the glory to Jesus and tell of His love, His wonderful love.” and
“With His blood He has saved me, and with his power He has raised me.
To God Be The Glory for the things He has done.
Lyrics to My Tribute (To God Be the Glory), written by Andraé Crouch